∂αувяєαк∂яєαмѕ; ☼

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, “Heaven’s getting pretty close to full today, and I’ve been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what’s your story?”

So the first man replies: “Well, for a while I’ve suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn’t reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn’t you know it, he wouldn’t fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn’t stand that for long, so he let go and fell—but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.”

“That sounds like a pretty bad day to me,” said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

“It’s been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn’t hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I’m here.”

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

“Picture this,” says the third man, “I’m hiding inside a refrigerator...

A mother walks up to her sons room, and wakes him up

SON: ’’But mum! i dont want to go to school today!’‘

MOTHER: ’’Okay then, give me two good reasons why you shouldnt go to school’‘

SON: ’’Well, because Kids hate me, and because teachers hate me!’‘

MOTHER: ’’Not good enough…’‘

SON: ’’Ok, you give me two GOOD reasons why i SHOULD go to school’‘

MOTHER: ’’One, because youre 45 years old, Two, because you are the principal’‘

Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar. He didn’t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.

“I sure do,” he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10-inch Bic lighter.

“Wow!” said his friend. “Where did you get that monster?”

“I got it from my genie.”

“You have a genie?” he asked.

“Yes, he’s right here in my pocket.”

“Could I see him?”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a very small genie.

The friend looks at the genie for a while and then asks, “I’m a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?”

“Yes I will,” the genie replies, so the friend asks him for a million bucks. The genie hops back into his master’s pocket and leaves the man standing there waiting for his million bucks.

After a few seconds a duck walks into the bar followed by another. Then more ducks come pouring in. Before long the entire bar has ducks everywhere.

The friend says to his buddy, “What is going on here? I asked for a million bucks, not ducks!”

He answers, “I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked for a 10-inch Bic?’‘

Three friends, a brunette, a red head, and a blond were all stranded on an Island. One day they were walking in the sand, when they noticed a lamp. While they were cleaning off the sand, a Genie appeared, and told them that he woud grant them each one wish. The brunette told the Genie that they had been there so long, that she just wanted to go home. So “poof” the brunette was back at home. The red head told the genie that she too wanted to be back at home, so “poof” she too was back at home. After a moment, the Blond begin to cry. The Genie asked her what was wrong, and she told him, “I wish my friends were back”

One day an old granny brought a house but didnt know what to name it. A few minutes later a bunch of teenagers walked passed and shouted ASSHOLE! So she named her house asshole. The next day she brought a dog, but didnt know what to name that either. The teenagers walked past again and shouted POO!! So she named it poo. The next day she couldnt find her dog, so she phoned the police and said “You must help, i have lost my poo, i have looked all around my asshole, but he isnt here!” “Oh,” said the police man, “erm, have you checked in your toilet?” he asked. So the old granny ran to the toilet, an there he was, sitting in the toilet!

ok, theres santa claus, the tooth fairy, and a SMART blonde in a room. There’s a $100 dollar bill on the floor. who picks it up?

none of them, cause none exist.

a little boy walked up to his dad and said, “Daddy, is god black or white?”. “Well,” said the dad, ” He’s both” “Is god a boy or a girl?” asked the son. “Well he’s both son.” Said the dad.

“Daddy,” replied the boy, “Is God Michael Jackson?!”

One day there was a man, a woman and a little girl. The wanted to go on holiday but the only spare room contained one bunk bed. They decided to go for but the man and woman went on the top and the little girl on the bottom. They decided to make love using keywords- Ham for faster and Cheese for harder. After about 10 mins of ham and cheese the little girl said, “Stop making sandwiches you guys, your getting mayonaise all over my face!”

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

First Blonde: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!

Second Blonde: Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!

So a guy walks into a bar and says to the bar tender “bet you 300 dollars i can pee into that beer cup from here.”

Bar tender says “really wanna make a bet?”

So the man agrees, then goes to talk to a couple of shady looking mean in the corner of the bar. Then he takes it out and pees everywhere, except the cup. He get the floors, the tables, the stools, the walls, the bartender, just everything. So the bartender smiles cause he knows he just won 300$.

The man goes to the corner again to talk to the men and comes out smiling.

So the bar tender asks, “why are you smiling you just lost 300$?”

The man says ” Because i bet those guys over there i could pee all over your floors, the tables, the stools, the walls, plus you. And you would be happy about it.”

There is a little boy named Timmy, who is only 5. One day, his mom and dad are having a fight and call each other a bitch and a bastard. So Timmy asks, “Dad, whats bitch mean?” Dad: “Um… well… it is another word for… girl…” Timmy: “Mom, what does bastard mean?” Mom: “Err… another word for… guy…” Timmy: “Oh, ok.”

Later, Timmy was trying to go to sleep, and he heard is parents in the other room, having sex: “PUT YOUR PENIS IN MY VAGINA, DAMNIT!” So in the morning, Timmy asked his mom and dad, what penis and vagina meant. “Umm… a penis is a hat… and a vagina… is a coat…” “Oh, ok.”

Then, his dad cut himself while he was shaving, and yelled, “SHIT!”. Timmy asked him what that meant, and his dad said, “Oh its a… type of shaving cream…” “Oh, ok.”

And while his mom was cutting some vegetables, she accidentally cut a bit of her finger, and yelled, “FUCK!”. So Timmy asked what that meant. “It means… to cut something…” “Oh, ok.”

Then his parents were having a party and Timmy was at the door letting the guests in. “Welcome, Bitches and Bastards! May I take your penises and vaginas? My parents will be here in a minute. My dad is upstairs, using some shit to shave with, and my mom is in the backyard fucking a tree!”

Three men came upon some tracks. They were all arguing about what kind of tracks they were. “C’mon! They are SO rabbit tracks!” said one man. “NO! They are wolf tracks!” yelled another. “They are dog tracks, DUH!” shouted the last man. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Ok so a blonde walked into an electronic store and asked “can i buy this tv?” and the guy said “no your a blonde” so she died her hair brown. The next day the blonde walked into the store again and asked “can i buy this tv” and the guy said “no your a blonde” so then she died her hair purple for some reason and walked to the electronic store again and asked “can i have this tv?” and the guy said “no your a blonde” and the blonde said “how do you know im a blonde?” and the guy said “because this is a microwave!!!”

One day Harold came home early from a conference. To his surprise, when he entered his wife’s bedroom, she was lying in there, naked and wide awake. ”...Honey?” he asked, confused. “What?” she asked innocently. “Why are you naked?” “Oh…I couldn’t find anything _good_to wear.” “Don’t be silly.” Harold said. He threw open the closet and inspected the choices. “Let’s see…you have a green dress…you have a red dress…you have a purple dress…oh, hi Howard…you have a yellow dress…”

A blonde woman is watching the TV and sees the lottery segment during the news. As the numbers are picked, she looks up and prays, “Please God, let me win the lottery!”

The following week, the woman catches the lottery on TV again and says, “Oh, c’mon, God! Please! Just once, let me win the lottery!”

The third week, she sees the lottery going on again on TV. Falling to her knees, she screams, “Dammit! I need the money! Please, please, let me win the lottery just once!”

Suddenly, her house shakes violently, the lights flicker, dishes fall to the floor, a gust of wind blows through, and a deep, booming voice speaks to her…

“You can start by buying a ticket.”

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to Heaven. St. Peter’s there, and when they get to the gate, St. Peter informs them that there will be a test to get into Heaven: they each have to answer one question. To the teacher, he says, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the Iceberg and sunk with all its passengers?” The teacher thinks for a sec, and then replies:” That would have been the Titanic, right?” St. Peter lets him through the gate. St. Peter turns to the Garbage man, and, figuring that Heaven doesn’t REALLY need all the stink that this guy would bring into heaven, decides to make the question a little harder: “How many people died on the ship?” The garbage man guesses: “1228” “That happens to be right; go ahead.” St. Peter turns to the Lawyer: “Name them.”

“Women on Haircuts” Woman 1: Oh! That haircut is so cute! Woman 2: You think so? I wasn’t sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking? Woman 1: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Woman 1: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line. Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would kill for your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms – see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. (etc…)

“Men on Haircuts” Man 1: Haircut? Man 2: Yeah.

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were 3 finalists- 2 men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her. ” The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife.” The agent said, “Then you’re not the right man for the job. Take your wife and go home.” The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.” Finally, it’s the woman’s turn. She was given similar instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow. “This gun was loaded with blanks,” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.” MORAL: Women are mean. Don’t mess with them.

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it….

Cop : “Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?”

Blonde : “Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65.”

Cop : “Oh miss, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on!”

Blonde : “Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, I’ll be more careful from now on.”

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop : “Excuse me miss, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something awful.”

Blonde : “Oh… We just got off of highway 119”

Sunday morning services were going very smoothly when suddenly a flash of light and smoke appeared in front of the pulpit followed by a large “BOOM”. When the smoke cleared, the astonished congregation saw a red figure complete with horns, pitchfork and tail.

Immediately, panic set in. People crowded through the doors, trampling each other in their rush to get away. Satan watched the retreat with great glee, but his mood was disturbed by the sight of one man still lounging comfortably in his pew.

“Do you not know who I am?”, Satan thundered.

The man’s reply was nonchalant, “Sure I do.”

Satan was puzzled. “Do you not fear me?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

The man snorted, “What for? I’ve been married to your sister for 35 years!”

A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, “I had an affair with a woman… almost.”

The priest says, “What do you mean, almost?”

The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.”

The priest replies, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to go near that woman again. Now say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”

The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and starts to leave.

The priest, who was watching him, quickly runs over and says, “I saw that! You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”

The man replied, “Well, Father, I rubbed up against it, and you said it was the same as putting it in!”

Once there was a lady that was taking a bath. A man walks up to the door and says hey it’s jim i have some good news. She realizes it’s her friend the doctor so she put her towel on and walked downstairs. Hi sup said the girl. I just got a masters degree said the man. Cool said the girl and he walked away. She got back in the tub and her other friend a comedian came to the door. She put her towel on and walked downstairs and opened the door. I just won the golden laugh award! said the man. Cool said the girl and the man walked away. Right as she was about to get back to her bath, her friend the blind man came to the door. She decided she didn’t need her towel, so she walked downstirs naked and opened the door. The blind man said, Guess what!... I can see again!!!!!

Our Beer Which art in barrels Hallowed be thy drink Thy will be drunk I will be drunk At home as it is in the local Forgive us this day our daily spillage As we forgive those that spillest against us And lead us not into the poncey practice of wine tasting And deliver us from alco-pops For mine is the bitter The ale and the larger For ever and ever

Barmen

what's short but high?

a midget on drugs

Patient: Docter,Docter I’ve Got 59 seconds to live. Docter: Ok, i’ll Be with you in a minute.

One evening a brother brings his frail, younger brother to a nursing home and leaves him, hoping he will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe him, feed him a tasty breakfast, and set him in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely forest. He seems OK, but after a while he slowly starts to lean over sideways in his chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch him and straighten him up. Again he seems OK, but after a while he starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring him back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the brother arrives to see how the younger brother is adjusting to his new home.

“So, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?” he asks.

“It’s pretty nice,” he replies. “Except they won’t let you fart.”

Man walks into the Doctors office. “I have the results of your test and I’m afraid your going to die” Says the Doctor. The Man asks “How long do I have to live?” “Ten”, replies the Doctor. “What the hell does that mean”, the Man asks. “Ten Years, Ten Months, Ten weeks, What?” The Doctor Replies “Nine”

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?” Then one of the student asked, “How much for a season pass?”

A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.

He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don’t let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”

With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: “Grandma, I didn’t let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced His family…”

Granny fainted….

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon hearing this, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

She was released from the hospital, and while crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the car?”

God replied, “I didn’t recognize you.”

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked, “What is this, Father?”

The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then as these numbers began to light in reverse order. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Go get your Mother.”

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that airplane.”

Esther always replied, “I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50 bucks, and 50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said, “Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane I might never get another chance.”

Esther replied, “Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 bucks, and 50 bucks is 50 bucks.”

The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you; but if you say one word it’s 50 bucks.”

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”

Morris replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out of the airplane, but 50 bucks is 50 bucks.

2 nuns are painting a room and were told not to get paint on their clothes so they locked the door and took off their clothes. a man knocks on the door and they say “who is it” the man says “blind man” they say “well he is blind he can come in” they open the door and the man says “nice boobs where do you want these blinds?”

There were three men who wanted work experience as painters. An english man, an American man and an Indian man. The boss wanted to test them so asked them to tell him an example of when they saw the colours green, pink and yellow, in one morning. So the next day, the english man came to the boss. He said, “When I woke up this morning, I saw a green gate, some pink flowers, and the yellow sun.” Next, came the American man. He told the boss, “When I woke up this morning, I saw my green polka dotted underwear, my pink furry slippers and my yellow rubber ducky.” Then the Indian man walked up to the boss. He said, “Ven I voke up this morning, the phone vent ‘green green’, I pinked it up and said ‘yelloooooo!’”

ok here is a test…..

ok so there is a one story house that is blue. everything in it is blue. the curtains are blue the floor is blue the windows are blue the ceiling is blue the walls are blue the kichen is blue the bathroom is blue the closets are blue the toilet is blue the sinks are blue the tiles are blue the couches are blue the chairs are blue the tables are blue the food is blue the drinks are blue and so on and so on… everything is blue.

Q: what is color are the stairs?

A: they arent any color… its a one story house remember???

One fine day, a boy with talking problems walked into town. He however needed to pick up some certain items for his mother. He read his list of items:-

Bakery – Fresh Cross Buns Antique Shop – New Clock And a little something for you.

He enters the Bakery. Boy: Excuzz me. Baker: How can I help? Boy: I need som cross bums please. Baker: Cross Bums? Boy: Yesh. Baker: Don’t you mean Cross Buns? Boy: I fink sho.

The Boy walks out of the shop with the freshly baked crossed buns he needed and then walks a little more down the street to find the Antique Shop. He enters.

Boy: Hwello? Shopkeeper: Hello there, are you ok? Boy: Yesh, I need a cock plez. Shopkeeper: A Cock? Boy: Yesh. Shopkeeper: Don’t you mean a, Clock? Boy: I fink swo.

The Boy exits the shop with a brand new Clock and then walks around the corner to the Sweet Shop. He enters.

Boy: Hwey there. Shopkeeper: Hey, what you need mate? Boy: I’ll hwave som of your lickit, plez. Shopkeeper: Lickit? Boy: Yesh. Shopkeeper: Don’t you mean some liqourish? Boy: Thwats the owne.

The boy leaves the shop with a bag full of liqourish sweets. He then starts to head home, but then he is stopped by a woman.

Woman: Hey there, could you tell me what time it is?

Boy: Err swure, cwan you hwold my bums and lickit while I gwet mwy cock out.

George went on a vacation to the Middle East with his Family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation in Jerusalem George’s Mother-in-law died.

With the death certificate in his hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the United States for a proper burial.

The Consul told George that to send the body back to the United States for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost,him as much as $5,000.00.

The Consul also told him, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here in Jerusalem. This would only cost him $150.00.

George thinks for some time and answers, “I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back; that’s what I want to do.”

The Consul says “You must have loved your Mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price.”

“No, it’s not that,” says George. “You see, I know of a case many, many years ago of a man that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!

A duck walks into a restaurant one day, walks up to a waiter and asks “Do you have any Duck food?” The waiter looks down at the duck and says “No we have no duck food, you need to leave” so the duck leaves.

The next day the duck comes back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks “Do you have any duck food?” The waiter looks down at the duck and says “I told you yesterday we don’t have any duck food, you need to leave!” so the duck leaves.

The next day the duck comes back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks “Do you have any duck food?” The waiter looks down at the duck and says “Are you stupid? I’ve already told you WE DONT HAVE ANY DUCK FOOD, you need to leave AND DONT COME BACK!” so the duck leaves.

The next day the duck comes back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks “Do you have any duck food?” The waiter looks down at the duck and says “I can’t believe you came back. WE DONT HAVE ANY DUCK FOOD DONT YOU UNDERSTAND! Look if you come back ask me again I’m going to nail your beak to the floor! NOW LEAVE” so the duck leaves.

The next day the duck come back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks “Do you have any nails?” The waiter looks down at the duck and says “What the…... no i dont have any damn nails! what the hell kind of question is that?”.

The duck asks “Do you have any duck food?”

there was a man who didnt know any words. he was listening to commercials one day. the first thing the guy heres is YA YA YA!! the second commercial says FORKS AND KNIVES FORKS AND KNIVES! and the third commercial was advertising a room freshener PLUG IT IN PLUG IT IN so he goes and sits by someone sleeping on a bench. the police come up and say did you kill this man? YA YA YA!! what did you use to kill him? FORKS AND KNIVES FORKS AND KNIVES! do you want us to take you to the electric chair? PLUG IT IN PLUG IT IN…

One day, A man and his wife are playing golf. The man hits a ball and it smashes a window of a nearby house.

The man and his wife go to the house and apologize to the man living there, but he said “no need to apologize. See, I am a genie. And I have been trapped for decades. For freeing me, i will grant you two wishes.”

The man said “well, we are struggling to pay the bills, so i guess we could wish for money”

The woman said “and our house is struggling, so we could wish for a new one”

Then the genie said “I will grant these two wishes…one on conditition! because i have been trapped for so long, i have not experienced love for an eternity. In return for granting these wishes, I request that I sleep with your wife.

After a moment’s discussion, the man finally agreed to allow the genie to sleep with his wife.

While the genie and the man’s wife were upstairs, the genie said “how old is your husband?” The woman replied “He’s 36”. The genie then said “And he still believes in genies? That’s amazing!!”